Failing is empowering

It is not about the abilities you have in the moment of evaluation. It is about what you gain from by putting down what you have and that openness to the criticism based on the work you produced.

When I entered the school of architecture in Cardiff, there was this empowering feeling of being in paradise. It smoothly wrapped me and lifted me up from the ground. It was beautiful.

You might wonder what might be wrong with me for stating such abstract words when entering a building – some might say just a building Although, I have to say that was the moment when I realised that it is actually happening. I am starting my journey to become an architect. It was a perfect moment I would say. A new start in all of its possible terms. New city. New people. New country. New opportunities. And I loved how it all surrounded me. It was perfect. I was ready to put myself out there. To maximise what I can do.

I felt a need for perfection – as I did for most of my life. As I was walking through the building seeing many works on the walls, I felt encouraged. However, that emotion was not coming because of being inspired. I wanted to be on the wall as well – as many of us.

***

I have created this piece. I was not really sure on what to expect from it. Many people came by and said: ‘Wow, what is this?’ Honestly, I would really want to give a great response to it, but it was really difficult. It was not because I could not describe it. It was definitely a thing. It was just useless? Or had a questionable… It is hard to even define. But what I can tell that it definitely did not bring much further my project. It just let me be stuck in there. I just could not give it up on it. I could not face the truth.

Honestly, what was I thinking? I kept questioning myself. I did not know what I am supposed to do. I ended up in a endless loop of misunderstanding. Whoever tried to help me, I already felt entitled to suffering in that project. I just felt that every single received criticism is pushing me even more into the ground. Like I was not deep down enough!

It is ridiculous to think back at how I could not face my failure. I was just too proud.

Agreeing with the criticism is not the key here. It is about accepting the fact that you have been given a criticism. Someone has been empowered by your presentation. You have brought emotions out of someone. Just take it all in and release whatever is not necessary. It is your project. At the end of the day, it is your decision. But by ignoring the criticism, you will never grow. You will become a passenger of a train that goes endlessly to nowhere and with no goals.

Why would you want to sit on that train anyway? That will not solve any problems for sure.

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